Carols of a Highschool Marching Band
by Marna
Summary: This is a continuation of something I came up with for skit night at this year’s band camp. PG13 for a few swear words and teenage sexuality. R&R PLEASE!!!
1. The Twelve Days of Band Camp

This is something I came up with for skit night at this year's band camp.

The Twelve Days of Band Camp 

On the first day of band camp my director gave to me:

An hour standing at attention.

On the second day of band camp my director gave to me:

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the third day of band camp my director gave to me:

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the fourth day of band camp my director gave to me:

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the fifth day of band camp my director gave to me:

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the sixth day of band camp my director gave to me:

Six hours of sleep,

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the seventh day of band camp my director gave to me:

Seven snotty flutes,

Six hours of sleep,

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the eighth day of band camp my director gave to me:

Eight hours of practice

Seven snotty flutes,

Six hours of sleep,

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the ninth day of band camp my director gave to me:

Nine lengthy lectures,

Eight hours of practice,

Seven snotty flutes,

Six hours of sleep,

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the tenth day of band camp my director gave to me:

Ten nasty bug bites,

Nine lengthy lectures,

Eight hours of practice,

Seven snotty flutes,

Six hours of sleep,

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the eleventh day of band camp my director gave to me:

Eleven drummers offbeat,

Ten nasty bug bites,

Nine lengthy lectures,

Eight hours of practice,

Seven snotty flutes,

Six hours of sleep,

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

On the twelfth day of band camp my director gave to me:

Twelve days from hell,

Eleven drummers offbeat,

Ten nasty bug bites,

Nine lengthy lectures,

Eight hours of practice,

Seven snotty flutes,

Six hours of sleep,

Five endless drills!

Four stupid songs,

Three meals of gruel,

Two broken reeds,

And an hour standing at attention.

I meant no offence from the 'seven snotty flutes'. I'm sure there are flutes out there with wonderful attitudes, but the ones at my school are…. For lack of a better word… EVIL!

Of course, I'm in pit (everything else in perc besides drum line, for all those who don't know) and rarely associate myself with them. Except, my sis (6th grade) is a flute player. ***Shudders* **My sister has the WORST attitude, and she HATES perc. Go figure. (Course, I hang with 6 guys and am their best friend, while my sis hangs with…. Girls… HA! (I am a girl, k?) No fun! Guys are so fun to hang with at a football game!)

But… My whole family's screwed up. My younger brother, the one in seventh, is a sax player. And my youngest brother (4th) wants to be a CHEERLEADER!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!?!

That was my rambling. Sorry!

Questions? Comments? All are welcome!

R&R PLEASE!


	2. Halt! The Band Director Screams

I do not own the original version of this song… Although, technically, no one does… So, I could sell this song… But I don't want to… So there…

HALT! THE BAND DIRECTOR SCREAMS!

Original Version: Hark the Herald Angels Sing 

"**HALT!**" The band director screams,

"Why can't you just do this thing?

You all suck…you play it wrong…

So stand at attention all day long!"

_BORING, BORING_ this all is…

Tubas have to take a wiz…

Drummers here are dying too… 

Their sticks are stuck to them like glue…

I sit here and wish them well…

Pit is not part of Drilling Hell…

_I only had one verse written for this song, mostly because another one just wouldn't fit with the whole theme… Oh well!_

Questions? Comments? All are welcome! 

R&R PLEASE!


	3. Drum Major's Staff

Another song from the deranged mind of the Sub-Section Leader of Pit… ***sigh***

DRUM MAJOR'S STAFF 

ORIGINAL SONG: O CHRISTMAS TREE

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff 

You're really long and pointy

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff

You're really long and pointy

During Drills you stand so tall

And over you, I trip and fall

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff

You're really long and pointy

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff 

I think you're out to get me…

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff 

I think you're out to get me…

Every time we march downtown

I am hit as you spin around

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff

I think you're out to get me…

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff 

Someday I'll destroy you…

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff 

Someday I'll destroy you…

Your reign of terror's near its end,

You will be broken and will not mend

Drum Major's Staff, Drum Major's Staff

Someday I'll destroy you…

Well, that's the third song in the collection of weird songs by me. Tremble at my gloriousness.

Or not, whichever you choose…

There is a truth behind these events. There was this one time during a Monday-Evening rehearsal, when I was a lowly cymbal in drum-line, and we were running through a drill for Friday's game. Well, I was holding cymbals for my snare, (I don't know if he'll let me use his real name, so I'll just call him Skittle (there's a story behind it)), and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and I tripped over the staff that was marking the center of the field. And my falling caused Skittle to fall as well, and that was bad because he was carrying his snare. (Actually, I think he just stumbled, but it was still funny).

The marching downtown and getting hit? Yeah, that happened, but not to me. It was during a holiday parade, and during this parade we allow alumni to march with us. One of the oldies, a trombone who was marching RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, got smacked in the head, which caused him to loose his music. (But I was nice and picked it up for him).

And destroying the staff? That has yet to happen.


	4. We Three Teens

**Disclaimer: **If writing parodies to songs that are older than dirt is illegal, than go ahead and shoot me.

**We Three Teens**

Original Song: We Three Kings

We three teens of Marching Band are

Trying to go to camp in one car.

It was loaded, our map corroded

And now we don't know where we are.

_Oh-No!_

_He's horn-y, Her shirt's too tight,_

_And I'm the one who drives, alright?!_

_While they're 'reading', I'm proceeding_

_God! It has to be in sight!_

The girl is one that I have known well

Years ago I made her life Hell.

Punching, Kicking, Slapping, Screeching,

And now we are friends, it's swell!

_Oh-No!_

_He's horn-y, Her shirt's too tight,_

_And I'm the one who drives, alright?!_

_While they're 'reading', I'm proceeding_

_God! It has to be in sight!_

He's the one who plays the Trombone

And for a while, he did play alone.

He keeps wooing and wants some screwing

He says he can make a girl moan.

_Oh-No!_

_He's horn-y, Her shirt's too tight,_

_And I'm the one who drives, alright?!_

_While they're 'reading', I'm proceeding_

_God! It has to be in sight!_

I am called the Goddess of Pit

With some sticks, the bells I do hit

Freshies bowing, Parents 'wowing'

Everyone else is shit.

_Oh-No!_

_He's horn-y, Her shirt's too tight,_

_And I'm the one who drives, alright?!_

_While they're 'reading', I'm proceeding_

_God! It has to be in sight!_

Someday soon I hope to get there

How it's done, I really don't care.

Driving, Flying, Boating, _DYING_

All this is too much to bear.

_Oh-No!_

_He's horn-y, Her shirt's too tight,_

_And I'm the one who drives, alright?!_

_While they're 'reading', I'm proceeding_

_God! It has to be in sight!_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Anyone who reads this and enjoys this has to be insane. Just like me.


End file.
